2 Types of People in this World!
It sounds grossly over simplistic, but I have found it is generally true. I am sure we could do the same thing with 2 different categories to lump people in, but recently, I was reminded of this when I spent some time with a special group of guys that came into my life about 8 years ago. I started attending a retreat, but that is not a good word for it. We call it a Foxhole. It is a place to get out of the line of fire and help each other grow. These guys want to improve and are not afraid of tough love. I can genuinely say they have been there for me through some valleys and celebrated some mountain tops! After hanging out with these guys again for a couple of days and laughing and crying with them, it reminded me of this old adage I heard from one of my high school coaches.
“Brice, you will meet two types of people in this world: 1) TO them people, and 2) FOR them people. Be sure you surround yourself with FOR them people.”
TO them type of people are the ones who live in their glory days. They sit around and make self-deprecating comments about their weight, age, health, position in life, etc., hoping the joke will mask the pain. They always have reasons why they are stuck in life.
….When I was in college, I was in great shape.
….You should have seen me back in the day.
….It’s a different ballgame once you have kids and a job.
….If I hadn’t had to….
….If he/she would not have….
….If this wouldn’t have happened, then….
….I got married and….
….I got divorced and….
….I never met anyone to marry, so….
Life has happened TO them. It has controlled and frozen them to some extent. There is always an excuse or a wall that stands in the way of something greater that lies on the other side waiting FOR them.
On the other hand, it has been inspiring to be around people like I was able to at the Foxhole that I spoke about above and in life who view life differently. They view life as happening FOR them. The hard stuff of life that has happened is FOR them to get better, stronger, wiser, kinder. These people are..
· Proud, but humble
· Confident, but not cocky
· Leaders, but places themselves in a posturing position to learn.
· Committed, but balanced.
· Determined to take pain and be productive.
· Forgiving, but wise.
· Loving, but firm.
The list could go on, but hopefully, you can see what I mean. I have found that people who view life happening FOR them have some of the deepest valleys in their experiences, but this has caused the highest mountains with the best views in their life as well! What if God has allowed (even though it has caused Him pain) those TO moments so that He could do more FOR you?
· The person who has GONE THROUGH a painful divorce is the best person to help someone GOING THROUGH one.
· The person who has LOST a child is the best person to help someone FIND hope in that trauma.
The TO’s of life can be FOR you and your future. We can always find excuses, or we can commit to finding solutions and purpose. We must act and do something, not just turn it over to God and pray. Important yes! All-inclusive, NO! God has given you the ability to think, solve problems, walk to get help, heal, and surround yourself with people who will speak Godly wisdom into you.
Typing this is easier than doing it—at least in my life! I have lived many more moments in the TO life category than the FOR life category. It is easy to get stuck, but realize you are not alone. What I have found (and try to remember, but it usually takes someone to remind me) is that most of my regrets have happened when I am living my as it happened TO me.
· I am easily offended.
· I am secretive.
· I get defensive.
· I get depressed.
· I get anxious and uneasy.
But when I can tap into the idea that life has happened FOR me, I can get stronger, better, faster, wiser, more generous, more helpful, more empathetic, more open, more relaxed. I become a better husband, better dad, better friend, better believer. TO or FOR? We get to choose every day!