After the Election: Moving Forward Together
Elections often feel like seismic shifts—lines drawn, sides chosen, and, finally, a winner declared. Yet, as the dust settles, many people are left wondering: will this divide continue, or can we find our way back to common ground?
Will Things Get Less Divisive?
In recent years, the political and cultural divide has often seemed too wide to bridge. But history shows us that after every election, there’s an opportunity to come together. When the election frenzy dies down, most people aren’t as interested in remaining in a state of division; they just want to return to daily life, reconnect with neighbors, and focus on common interests. Unity doesn’t mean erasing our differences—it’s about balancing them with mutual respect and shared goals. And sometimes, finding that balance is just about allowing each other the space to breathe after such a high-stakes event.
Daily Actions for Unity
Focusing on unifying aspects of our lives instead of divisive ones can be transformative. Here are a few small but powerful steps we can take:
1. Prioritize Shared Values: Spend time with friends and family on activities that don’t center around politics. Volunteering together, sharing meals, or working on community projects shifts the focus to what we share, not what divides us.
2. Practice Active Listening: Instead of trying to change someone’s mind, try listening without an agenda. When people feel heard, they’re often more open and less defensive.
3. Find and Share Positive Stories: A lot of news and social media content feeds on division. Intentionally look for and share stories of people working together, overcoming differences, or uplifting others. These examples remind us that cooperation and kindness are still happening around us.
Empathy for Those Who Feel They’ve Lost
After any election, some people will feel disheartened, even fearful, about what the outcome means for their future. It’s crucial to remember that no one likes feeling disregarded. If your “side” won, take a moment to reach out with compassion to those who feel they’ve lost. Let them know their feelings matter and that, even if you disagree, you’re committed to being a supportive friend or neighbor.
Empathy is a quiet but powerful way to start healing the divide. It’s not about sacrificing your values but rather making room for others’ emotions and acknowledging their concerns. When people feel they aren’t alone, their sense of loss is often less isolating.
Does Winning Mean Someone Has to Lose?
Our culture often frames elections as win-or-lose, but this mindset isn’t always helpful. Winning can be a shared experience if we view it as an opportunity to learn and grow together. Both “winners” and “losers” contribute to society, and both can work towards a future that respects their values and perspectives.
The real victory after an election isn’t one side overpowering another but rather a renewed commitment to building a society where everyone feels they belong. When we prioritize unity, listen with empathy, and act compassionately, we help create a culture where winning and losing don’t divide us—they motivate us to build a better future together.
Leading from the Middle: How to Lead Up, Down, and Across
Most leadership advice is aimed at people at the top, but many of us find ourselves leading from the middle of the pack, managing teams while answering to higher-ups. Leading from this position can be incredibly powerful—if you approach it thoughtfully. Here’s how to use the unique vantage point of “middle” leadership to grow your skills, support your boss, empower your team, and uplift your organization.
1. Build Trust and Communication
When leading from the middle, trust and communication are everything. Take, for example, a story about a team lead named Sarah. She knew her manager was dealing with high-pressure deadlines from senior leadership while her own team was feeling stretched thin. Sarah started doing daily check-ins with her team, giving everyone a chance to express concerns and share ideas. She would then summarize and communicate the team’s feedback to her manager in a way that was solution-oriented, showing that she wasn’t just passing problems up the chain. This regular, honest communication fostered trust on both sides.
If you’re in the middle, take the time to foster open lines of communication up and down. When people trust that you’re hearing their concerns and advocating for them, they’ll be more open to working with you to find solutions. And when your boss trusts that you’re communicating effectively, they’re more likely to respect your input.
2. Be a Champion for the Leader’s Vision
One of the most valuable ways to support the organization from the middle is to align with and champion the vision of the leaders above you. Let’s say a manager named James was tasked with executing a new customer service initiative that seemed time-consuming to his team. Rather than passing the directive along as yet another task, he took the time to explain the “why” behind it, helping his team understand how this initiative aligned with the company’s long-term goals. By translating the higher-up’s vision into something his team could connect with, he won their buy-in and enthusiasm.
To lead from the middle, take time to understand your leader’s vision fully, ask questions if you’re unclear, and then communicate that vision to your team in a way that resonates. This bridges the gap between top-down directives and ground-level execution.
3. Empower Others to Lead
An effective middle leader empowers their team by developing their leadership skills. Imagine working with a team member, like Alex, who shows promise but lacks confidence. Instead of keeping Alex in a supporting role, you can give him the lead on a small project, providing guidance while allowing him to make key decisions. This empowerment not only builds Alex’s confidence but also strengthens the entire team as it creates more leaders who can think and act independently.
Delegate tasks, share responsibilities, and encourage others to take ownership of their roles. This approach doesn’t just support team development but shows your leadership higher up that you’re committed to nurturing the organization’s long-term talent pipeline.
4. Model Accountability and Integrity
In the middle, you often find yourself managing expectations from both sides. One of the most critical ways to lead is by modeling accountability. Take the case of a supervisor named Maria who once dropped the ball on a project deadline. Instead of passing the blame, she took responsibility, admitted the oversight, and presented a plan to ensure it wouldn’t happen again. This act of accountability earned her respect from her team and her manager.
When you model accountability, you set a standard for your team, helping create a culture where people feel safe owning their mistakes. Being transparent about your own challenges also builds empathy with those above you who face similar pressures.
5. Find Ways to Improve the Organization
Those in the middle have a unique perspective on what’s working and what isn’t. Use this vantage point to identify areas of improvement and suggest realistic solutions. Take the example of Dan, a mid-level manager at a retail company who noticed a pattern in customer complaints about returns. Instead of letting the issue pile up, he proposed a simplified return policy that would improve customer satisfaction and reduce the workload for his team. This proactive approach not only addressed the problem but demonstrated to senior leadership that he was committed to the organization’s success.
Even small improvements can add up to significant progress. When you take initiative to make things better, you show that you’re not just there to keep things running but are invested in the organization’s growth.
Leading from the Middle: The Bottom Line
Leading from the middle means balancing empathy, communication, and a willingness to grow others while growing yourself. By doing so, you can create a positive ripple effect that strengthens the entire organization. As you build trust, support your leader’s vision, empower others, model accountability, and work toward improvement, you’ll not only become a better leader but also inspire others to do the same. And who knows? One day you might find yourself at the top, grateful for the skills you built along the way.
Do you lead from your feet or your seat?
Do you lead from your feet or your seat?
In the realm of leadership, there are those who lead from their seats and those who lead from their feet. Let's delve into these contrasting styles through the tales of two managers and explore why leading from your feet often leaves a more lasting impact.
**The Seat Leader: Knowledge and Direction**
Our first manager, let's call him Seat Leader Sam, had all the knowledge about leadership at his fingertips. He could easily articulate theories and strategies with finesse, guiding his team through the intricacies of problem-solving. His office was his kingdom, and he ruled with wisdom and kindness. Whenever a team member needed guidance, he would pause his activities to offer his insights, making them feel valued and important. Seat Leader Sam excelled at building a positive culture and inspiring speeches that rallied his team.
**The Feet Leader: Servant and Sacrifice**
Then, there was Feet Leader Frank, whose leadership style was grounded in service and sacrifice. Frank didn't just talk the talk; he walked the walk, quite literally. He made it a point to visit every team member daily, offering a warm greeting and a helping hand. His acts of service weren't limited to office interactions – he went above and beyond, even lending his car to a colleague in need. Frank's approach wasn't about dictating solutions; instead, he walked alongside his team members, empowering them to find their own answers. Despite his busy schedule, Frank always listened and supported his team, often sacrificing his family time to ensure they had everything they needed.
**The Impact of Leading from Your Feet**
While both leaders were respected and liked by their teams, Feet Leader Frank left a deeper impact. His intuitive approach to leadership, coupled with his willingness to serve and sacrifice, resonated profoundly with his team. Unlike Seat Leader Sam, who led from the comfort of his office, Frank's presence was felt in the trenches, where he lived out the values he preached.
**Finding the Balance**
It's essential to strike a balance between leading from your seat and leading from your feet. While seat leadership offers direction and expertise, feet leadership brings empathy and connection. The best leaders understand the importance of both and know when to step away from their desks to engage with their teams on a personal level.
**Leading from Your Feet: A Call to Action**
So, are you leading from your seat or your feet? Take a moment to reflect on your leadership style. If you find yourself too comfortable in your office chair, it may be time to lace up your shoes and walk alongside your team. Listen to their needs, support them in their endeavors, and remember that true leadership is about people over products.
Ultimately, the most effective leaders are those who lead with their hearts and their feet, not just their heads and seats. So stand up, walk, and lead from your feet – your team will thank you for it.
Shift Happens
Shift Happens: Ecclesiastes Moments and Philippians Laughter
In the grand tapestry of life, marked by unexpected twists and turns, "Shift Happens." Ecclesiastes 3:1 (To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, ... ) reminds us that there is a time for everything—a time to laugh, a time to cry, and, of course, a time for those shifts that keep us on our toes and often make us chuckle in amazement.
Timing Is Everything: Ecclesiastes Style
Shift happens when we least expect it, much like planning a picnic only to have the weather play its own comedic role, turning your sunny day into a surprise rain dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1 would nod in agreement – there's a time for picnics, and apparently, a time for impromptu waterlogged gatherings. Shift happens, and so does rain, right on cue.
The Hilarious Chronicles of Unplanned Events: Philippians Wisdom
Philippians 4:11 (11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want). advises us to find contentment in every situation, even when life adds a dash of chaos to our well-thought-out plans. Imagine attempting to parallel park in front of a bustling café – Ecclesiastes taps you on the shoulder, and suddenly, it's a time for honking horns, confused pedestrians, and a parallel parking job that would make a geometry teacher cringe. Shift happens, and so does the struggle to find the right parking angle.
Finding Humor in the Ecclesiastes Moments: Embracing the Shifts
Life's unexpected moments are the real MVPs of comedy. When Ecclesiastes 3:1 categorizes a situation as "a time to embrace" the absurd, it's also a time to embrace it with a good laugh. Shift happens, and so do those moments that make life delightfully unpredictable.
In the spirit of Philippians 4:11, finding contentment in these Ecclesiastes moments means accepting that life's timeline doesn't always align with our carefully crafted plans. Shift happens, but it's in the midst of these shifts that we find the beauty of resilience and adaptability. Embrace the unexpected, roll with the punches, and remember that sometimes, the best way to navigate life's twists is with a hearty laugh.
So, the next time Ecclesiastes beckons with its "time for this" and "time for that," remember that "Shift Happens." Grab your sense of humor, enjoy the show, and revel in the delightful comedy that is life's unpredictable timing. After all, laughter truly is the best medicine, especially when Ecclesiastes is co-writing the script!
Hope that you have a Happy Easter!
2 Types of People in this World!
It sounds grossly over simplistic, but I have found it is generally true. I am sure we could do the same thing with 2 different categories to lump people in, but recently, I was reminded of this when I spent some time with a special group of guys that came into my life about 8 years ago. I started attending a retreat, but that is not a good word for it. We call it a Foxhole. It is a place to get out of the line of fire and help each other grow. These guys want to improve and are not afraid of tough love. I can genuinely say they have been there for me through some valleys and celebrated some mountain tops! After hanging out with these guys again for a couple of days and laughing and crying with them, it reminded me of this old adage I heard from one of my high school coaches.
“Brice, you will meet two types of people in this world: 1) TO them people, and 2) FOR them people. Be sure you surround yourself with FOR them people.”
TO them type of people are the ones who live in their glory days. They sit around and make self-deprecating comments about their weight, age, health, position in life, etc., hoping the joke will mask the pain. They always have reasons why they are stuck in life.
….When I was in college, I was in great shape.
….You should have seen me back in the day.
….It’s a different ballgame once you have kids and a job.
….If I hadn’t had to….
….If he/she would not have….
….If this wouldn’t have happened, then….
….I got married and….
….I got divorced and….
….I never met anyone to marry, so….
Life has happened TO them. It has controlled and frozen them to some extent. There is always an excuse or a wall that stands in the way of something greater that lies on the other side waiting FOR them.
On the other hand, it has been inspiring to be around people like I was able to at the Foxhole that I spoke about above and in life who view life differently. They view life as happening FOR them. The hard stuff of life that has happened is FOR them to get better, stronger, wiser, kinder. These people are..
· Proud, but humble
· Confident, but not cocky
· Leaders, but places themselves in a posturing position to learn.
· Committed, but balanced.
· Determined to take pain and be productive.
· Forgiving, but wise.
· Loving, but firm.
The list could go on, but hopefully, you can see what I mean. I have found that people who view life happening FOR them have some of the deepest valleys in their experiences, but this has caused the highest mountains with the best views in their life as well! What if God has allowed (even though it has caused Him pain) those TO moments so that He could do more FOR you?
· The person who has GONE THROUGH a painful divorce is the best person to help someone GOING THROUGH one.
· The person who has LOST a child is the best person to help someone FIND hope in that trauma.
The TO’s of life can be FOR you and your future. We can always find excuses, or we can commit to finding solutions and purpose. We must act and do something, not just turn it over to God and pray. Important yes! All-inclusive, NO! God has given you the ability to think, solve problems, walk to get help, heal, and surround yourself with people who will speak Godly wisdom into you.
Typing this is easier than doing it—at least in my life! I have lived many more moments in the TO life category than the FOR life category. It is easy to get stuck, but realize you are not alone. What I have found (and try to remember, but it usually takes someone to remind me) is that most of my regrets have happened when I am living my as it happened TO me.
· I am easily offended.
· I am secretive.
· I get defensive.
· I get depressed.
· I get anxious and uneasy.
But when I can tap into the idea that life has happened FOR me, I can get stronger, better, faster, wiser, more generous, more helpful, more empathetic, more open, more relaxed. I become a better husband, better dad, better friend, better believer. TO or FOR? We get to choose every day!
Know or Known?
Know or Known.
It is amazing what adding one letter to a word can do! Know or Known? It not only changes the direction of what your experience is, but the entire definition is changed as well by one letter.
· Know: be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information.
· Known: recognized, or familiar with
Interestingly they are both derived from the word Knowledge. However, not all knowledge is intellectual. We can have emotional or spiritual knowledge as well. It might not be able to be defined intellectually but you can still know it is true. Love is that way! We can define love, but if you have ever been in love with someone, parts of it are undefinable. However, they are real.
Recently, I went through an exercise that I was asked to go through for an upcoming trip I am going on. To be honest I thought it was going to be weird and a little over spiritual. It is called an inner healing session. Sound weird? It does, especially if you did not grow up in those circles that work in these spheres. An inner healing session goes like this:
1) Fill out form online and answer questions about your deepest hurts and issues you are self-aware of. This was easy since I have gone through 4 therapists and spent enough money on deductibles to buy my dream car.
2) Schedule your appointment with an inner healing professional. There is not a college degree for this by the way (I checked). People who have participated in inner healing circles and who have been doing it for some time are professionals and lead sessions out of experience for people like me!
3) Show up for session. Normally you have one “guide” I think (at least that’s what I hear from others), but after reading my intake form they sent me 2! I need a lot of inner healing I guess, and they probably thought that I needed some outer healing as well after meeting me.
4) Be open/honest/and transparent with total strangers. Since I am 52 years old and have never met these 2 ladies I thought I was probably pretty safe if I was going to only see them every 52 years. (they were in their late 60s, so my odds were even better).
There is not a set agenda with inner healing. It just kind of goes wherever it goes. Kind of like a 2-year-old little boy trying to learn how to go pee standing up. It’s a little messy but you finally get there! We wandered for a while but finally hit on something that I have wrestled with my whole life. I know a lot of people but am not known by very many. My social media pages prove my first claim that I know people all over the world—nearly 4,000 (I am so popular). My life proves the second claim that I am not really known by very many, if anyone in my life. One letter changes everything.
It got deeper when we started talking about my latest struggle in life. I was in full time ministry for 32 years and recently left about 3 years ago and changed career paths pretty radically. (That is another blog post worthy of writing) For the past 2 years I have struggled to go to church and be present in a way that is not intellectual, but spiritual and emotional. Every time I sit down in church, I begin intellectually analyzing everything that is going on. Lighting, friendliness, the message, the music, temperature, quality of the coffee, everything! I am good at this, very good! I have college degrees to do this and 32 years of experience to critically look at everything going on and how to improve it to create a better experience. I KNOW how. In fact, I have been asked to speak on a regional, state, and national levels on this topic. I had so many people reach out to me I started an LLC consulting business. I KNOW how to do this. I also know a lot about spiritual things. God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Church History, Church Growth, Prayer, etc. I have written thousands of messages, devotions, articles, and even helped with a book.
After revealing this to my inner healing tag team they made a deep observation. “Brice, you have spent 32 plus years of your life learning about God and learning how to grow a church or organization. You know a lot, but how much of that time did you devote being KNOWN by God and being KNOWN others around you? You have spent 32 years learning how to be a Pastor and you have been a very effective and successful one. How much time have you spent leaning how to be known by God and being his son.” Yep, I suck! (Insert Punch in Gut). Know or Known?
Romans 8:15-16 NIV says …. the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. I am God’s son who is fully known by Him. I know this, but I also know that I have been a good pastor but a not so good son. I have spent most of my time knowing what to do and intellectually learning about God, and very little time getting to know my Father as one of His children. I think this applies to more than people who are in full time ministry (no matter what the role). Billy Graham used to say something to effect that most Christians are going to miss heaven by 12 inches. The distance from the head (KNOW) to the heart (KNOWN). (I think was Billy Graham, but if not we will give credit to Abraham Lincoln)
My children are known by me. Not only are they made up of who I am (sorry about that kids), but I have been watching them every second of every day I can and helping them grow up to love God and love others (and have a warped sense of humor). My children are known by me! This is how it is with God but we are fully made up of who He is. We are made completely in the image of Christ. Here is my problem and maybe yours. I am known by God and I know God. Do you see the problem? My need should be to be known by God and for God to be known by me. There is 12-inch difference there. The distance from the head to the heart.
I don’t know if you struggle with this like I do, but I know (in my head) that I am not alone in struggling with being known. For the last 32 years I have focused on knowing all about God and being a good pastor. If I live another 32 years my goal is for God to be known by me and to be a good son. The bible gives a great illustration about this (See I know stuff) when it talks about new wine in old wine skins. The new wine is too potent, and it will bust open the old wine skins and all will be lost. God is the new wine and we are the old wine skins. If we don’t change how we contain God in our lives, we run the risk of loosing everything.
I know some of you reading this don’t believe in God. I get it! Many Christians, religion, and many churches don’t make it easy. I’m sorry about that. Everything I have talked about thus far is part of that problem. Can I tell you, even though you may not believe in Jesus this still applies to other practical areas of your life. Are you really known in your friendships or is it just on the surface? Are you known by your coworkers or do you just know how to do your job and show up and punch a clock until you can go home? Are you fully known by your spouse or that person who is closest to you? Your kids are known to you but are you known to them?
Inner healing is needed (as weird as it may sound), by everyone and my hope and prayer is this might start a little bit of that inner healing for you. Know and Known! One letter makes a big difference. So start healing and eventually you will find the target—kind of like a 2 year old little boy learning to pee!
Are you a bull moose or a lead goose?
I grew up out west in Colorado, South Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming until I was 17! During that time, I spent much time outside hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting. I remember several trips to Yellowstone National Park, Glacier National Park, Custer National Park, and many other places like this. One of those trips stands out to me, however.
I was about ten years old, and it was early fall in the mountains. This was the time to go for a drive and a hike to see all the Aspen trees turn their beautiful golden-yellow color. My family always packed a picnic for these trips, not as much as for the experience but to save money. It was a beautiful and cool fall day. I wore my favorite red winter jacket, blue stocking cap, and blue jeans (this will be important later).
At about 9 am, we stopped to fish for a little bit at one of the many local lakes and streams in Yellowstone. While doing so, I distinctly remember the Canadian Geese migrating south for the winter. There were several flocks of them flying in their perfect V formation overhead and several flocks who were taking a break who had landed out on the lake where I was fishing. It was an incredible and beautiful site to watch them as you could hear them talking to each other and even switching out who the lead goose was at the front of the formation, who would gently glide to the back of the V as another goose took the lead.
I caught two rainbow trout that day that the Geese seemed as excited to see come out of the water as I did! I remember the beauty and the grace that geese flew with and how synchronized they seemed to be. They really didn’t do anything without the group. It was like they fully understood that their actions and decisions affected everyone else they were flying with!
After we fished for a while, it was time to go have one of those infamous family—let's save money—picnics. We sat at a roadside park with picnic tables scattered throughout the pine trees, eating pimento cheese sandwiches, pringles, and a brownie. It was awesome listening to the crisp wind whistle through the tops of the trees, and you could smell the fresh scent of pine. There I sat in my red coat and bright blue stocking cap when a bull moose came walking out of the woods curiously looking to see what was going on at what appeared to be HIS picnic site! His antlers were easily 6 feet across, and his back was taller than I was. As soon I saw him, I told my parents, who had their backs to the moose, that a “GIANT MOOSE WAS BEHIND THEM.” They looked and jumped up and ran to the car –without their son. About ½ way to the car, they swear they said, “Hurry up, Brice,” but I never heard it! I stood up (red coat and all) and, for some reason, felt the need to try to put my food back in my lunch bag and take it with me!
By the time I stood up (and got my lunch packed back up), the moose had positioned himself between me and the car. So, I did what any 10-year-old boy would do in that situation. I picked up a handful of rocks, remembered the story of David and Goliath (I didn’t have a slingshot, but I had a pretty good arm), prayed to God, ran behind a tree, and cried. Growing up out in this area, I had heard stories of how fierce and dumb these animals could be. There were reports of a bull moose charging a train on the tracks to challenge it. The moose lost, by the way! There were also reports of a moose challenging a car and coming through the front windshield, nearly killing the driver. So, I knew they were very dangerous and didn’t really have a good sense of judgement in what or who to attack but instead simply wanted to defend whatever it was that was who challenged their territory.
While sitting behind the tree, looking every 2 seconds to see where the moose was and listening to my parents scream from the other side of the car, I made the decision to take off my hat, coat, and orange shirt that I was wearing under the red coat! I remember matadors used a red cape to get bulls to charge, so this probably was not a good fashion choice for this situation. So, there I was in blue jeans and shirtless, hiding behind the tree. I decided to use my food as a distraction and discovered that moose like pimento cheese! I broke it into small pieces that I could throw and squeezed a rock into the cheese to get it to go further. Piece #1: Direct hit on the moose’s butt. It turned around and ate the cheese, and then it spit the rock out. Good news, I had a plan now to live. Bad news: the moose was now facing me. I continued to lure the moose away from the car and in the opposite direction throwing weighted sandwich chunks. It worked, and I went from tree to tree like a shirtless white ninja until I reached the car, and we drove away. Tom Cruise, in Mission Impossible, a couple of decades later, would have been very proud!
What a day! A lead goose and a bull moose. This story stayed with me my entire life, as you can see, but it was not until I was in my 20s that a deeper leadership lesson came out of it and another 20-plus years later before I took the time to write it down. (I never said I was a fast learner). At some point, when telling this story recounting experiences from my childhood, I asked myself the question, which animal would you rather be? A lead goose or a bull moose? Honestly, when I was in my 20s, I wanted to be a bull moose (or at least that is what my actions said). Powerful and intimidating, I earn my territory and possessions and fight to keep them. Who wants to be a goose? You fly back and forth, always tired, don’t really have anything that is really yours, and have to hang out with a flock of birds that might not even be that great at what they do! Plus, all that annoying honking!
However, in my 40s, I started realizing things about the goose and the moose when I studied them one day. In my opinion, a bull moose looks like it was made from all the leftover parts that God had laying around after creating all the other animals. However, a bull moose is intelligent unless it is stressed, in rutting season (mating season), or feels threatened (like by a train). Bull moose rarely co-exist with other bull moose due to their competitive nature. They normally fight for territory and females and then spend the rest of their time eating and trying to defend what is theirs. They don’t collaborate with other moose—female or male. They make the decisions and live with the consequences and the scars from butting heads with everyone they encounter. They travel but not that far. Once they have claimed their territory, they usually stay between 5 to 10 square miles for the rest of their lives. As they encounter other bull moose in their travels, they challenge them, fight, and either pick up a new female or possibly lose one they process. (Tough way to get a date).
Geese, on the other hand, are quite different. They are a team. It has been proven that the V formation that they fly in is more energy efficient than any other position that they could fly in, allowing them to go further together with less work! You will notice that they “honk” when they fly as well. Researchers believe that this is to help maintain the integrity of the flock and to coordinate the position shifts with the V-formation in which they fly. In other words, you can think of it as they are cheering each other on and informing the goose at the front of the V that it is time for him to take a break and drop to another position to allow someone at the rear of the V to take over this position. They are very methodical and move together as a team. Still, because of their energy conservation, teamwork, communication, and encouraging honks to one another, they can fly as far as 1,500 miles in just 24 hours. It is interesting to know as well that Canadian Geese mate for life, and groups of different families migrate together, creating if you will, a larger family where they rely on each other. When they rest, they rest together; when they fly, they fly together. Researchers have found that if a goose is injured or sick and can’t continue the flight, 2-3 other geese will stay with the one that is hurt until they are well and can fly again, or if the goose dies, then the rest fly on. This is normally their mate and another family of geese who stay to help.
The leadership lessons here are clear, so I will ask you the question, “Do you want to be a lead goose or a bull moose?” Let’s continue to lead like geese and create a culture where we are committed to each other and committed to going further together. That means we have to recreate our formation at times, cheer one another on, keep an eye on our leaders and pick up the slack at times when they are tired, stop and help each other when someone is struggling, and be loyal to our purpose of reaching our goal and destination.
I have several scars from being a bull moose in my early leadership, where I challenged others for position and purpose. I didn’t make it very far and usually felt alone and lonely. When I finally realized that I could go further with others and how we could all help each other accomplish our mission, I grew as a leader faster than I ever had and no longer had to look for a purpose and position—they found me!
Happy Picnicking,
Brice
When your spirit leaves….
“When your spirit leaves, take your body with it!”—How do you know when it is time to go, to leave, to transition, to find a new place of passion? Simple…when your passion leaves, examine why and if you can’t replenish it, leave, and go somewhere that you can be passionate again. We all go through seasons in life and like seasons in nature—all seasons end, and new seasons begin. This happens in our spiritual lives, our careers, our……. Most of the time our spirit leaves, and we hang on trying to resuscitate it and only end up more defeated, more frustrated, and emptier! This affects everything we touch, only sucking the spirit out of those around us. Realize, YOU ARE A LEADER! So those that you lead might know before you do or maybe you are like me and can hide stuff pretty well (at least for a while). People can still see and feel it even though they may not be able to put their finger on it. A passionate spirit can’t be faked for long.
They may not know, but they KNOW. And even worse—you do! Life is too short to work and live without passion. “When your spirit leaves, take your body with it!” I know you are just like me and have excuses in your mind right now. “Well, my passion has just changed!” Really? “You can’t be as passionate in your 40s as you can in your 20s”. Really? “But I have served my time and been here 10 years, 20 years, etc.! I have other people who are passionate for me!” (We don’t say that, but it’s how we are operating). What happened? Your spirit and your passion are left!
When your spirit and passion leave, we move to being managers or bosses, not leaders. Manages and bosses prod from behind to motivate people. Get going! Hurry up! Leaders are in front pulling people forward cutting the path for everyone to follow in. Let’s go! You can’t believe what is up here, come on! That takes passion and spirit. Managers manage! Bosses boss! Leaders lead! But where there is no passion, there is no purpose! “When your spirit leaves, take your body with it!”
Do yourself and the company you have worked for over the past 15 years a favor and leave if your spirit and passion is gone. I know you show up and even work hard, but it’s not your passion. You are reliable, but it’s not where you want to be. “You don’t understand, we are a sanitation company! What is there to be passionate about?” If your company didn’t exist, imagine how much trash or filth might exist in your area, driving down property values. What you do matters!
Maybe the church you have been at for over a decade has changed, has grown, and it feels different. You are frustrated but you attend, but you no longer LOVE IT! What if I told you that you might be the reason the church is not growing? (at least one of them) You are not actively and passionately engaged (which is contagious to those you influence and lead), but reluctantly just taking up a seat and hoping it miraculously will be something you want it to be. Oh, sure you sing and stand and sit when told, but you are longing for something else. Don’t feel guilty to leave. I know it’s personal, but so is your misery and a defeated spirit. Chase that passion and find where God is moving and join Him there! It’s Ok!
The bottom line is life is too short to stay in places you don’t have a passion for because you don’t have anywhere better to go, or this is what you have always done! Please hear me. Examine your passion and your purpose and if it is just a season of drought then do the things you need to do to get the passion to grow again. But if it is dead then you can try to resuscitate it as much as you want, but eventually, you are just going to get more tired, run out of air, and look stupid trying to bring a corpse to life.
P…oison
As I created an acronym for what negative P.R.I.D.E could stand for, the first word that came to my head when I thought of the letter P was POISON.
PRIDE—Week 2.
P…oison
As I created an acronym for what negative P.R.I.D.E could stand for, the first word that came to my head when I thought of the letter P was POISON. I can’t think of a clearer word of what negative pride begins to do in our lives. Pride affects every area of our lives. It affects our thoughts, actions, relationships, how we receive information and how we give information. It will affect what is important to us and how we will spend time trying to achieve whatever that is. When we all allow negative pride to enter into our lives unchecked it begins to spread under the surface of our lives unnoticed, at first, until the poison spreads so far that it finally becomes apparent externally as well.
When I think of poison, I think of a slow killer. It can work fast but normally people don’t seek to take poison to do self-harm. Normally, people who are poisoned or are exposed to poison do not even know it until there are other issues that affect them so they finally seek help from a physician to diagnose their pain. The same is true in our lives. I have never met anyone who purposely desires to be prideful and looks for every way possible to push this poison in their lives so that it will destroy them. However, I have met hundreds if not thousands of people who allowed pride to enter into their lives (many times unbeknownst to them) until it started causing enough pain in their lives that they finally sought help from a counselor, pastor, accountability partner, friend, consultant, life coach, etc. Poison also does not just come into our lives slowly, at least in my experience, it also takes time to get it out of our lives as well. You don’t gain 20 pounds overnight and you can lose them overnight either.
Once the poison of pride is diagnosed and accepted, then the hard work begins of building new boundaries, priorities, and behaviors to embrace change. In my experience, it causes me to go to people I have relationships with and apologize and begin the rebuilding process of trust. One of the areas that is the hardest to change is our thoughts. They are like a tape recorder (Google that if you are under 20) that has continued to re-record message after message, after message, after message. Eventually, even though you can record a positive message over the old negative prideful ones—just like when you record over an old song on a tape recorder—you can hear the old message under the new one. I remember when I was a teenager and we used to make “mixed” music tapes by listening to the radio and recording on a tape player our favorite songs. This took some serious skill! You had to wait patiently listening to the radio all night and have your tape recorder set and ready to push record. Inevitably I would either start it a little early and get the DJ talking or a couple of seconds late and miss the first part of the song. I still have a box of these tapes in my attic for some reason. Most of these tapes have been recorded 6-7 times and as you listen to them, every so often you can hear the music behind the music of other things that I recorded.
That is how our thoughts are! I have old negative thoughts that have been recorded over and over and over and now I am listening to new positive ones, but then… all of a sudden an old thought pops through. My actions have changed. My behaviors have changed. My relationships are good. But my thoughts keep creeping back in no matter what I do. They don’t control me like they used to, but they slow me down and remind me of who I really am. I am prideful and selfish and if given the right circumstances, I can become very negative if things go unchecked in my life.
I hope that is not you, but I would dare to bet pieces of it may be. I am trying to learn to use these thoughts that creep in as a warning light in my life. Like when a warning light comes on in your car, you slow down and pull it in the shop to figure out what is wrong so that you don’t cause more damage. This is what I try to do with my life as well. But if I am really honest, slowing down is not easy for me. At least in a productive way. It is easy for me to sit down and watch hours of mindless TV, but not necessarily slow down to have the conversations I need to have to diagnose where these thoughts are coming from. Therefore the poison of pride will keep spreading until I mix the right things together in my life to form an antidote.
Pride
Much has been written and said about Pride throughout history. Sometimes speakers and authors put a positive spin on it: “Have pride in what you do!”. Sometimes there are negative connotations: “Pride is at the center of all your
Pride
Much has been written and said about Pride throughout history. Sometimes speakers and authors put a positive spin on it: “Have pride in what you do!” Sometimes there are negative connotations: “Pride is at the center of all your problems—it is the love of yourself.” Over the past few years “PRIDE” has been associated with equal rights for the LGBTQ community—“PRIDE: Love is Love”. The topic of PRIDE has been a central part of sermons, conversations, protests, rallies, joy, sorrow, anger, accomplishment, and the list goes on and on. What is it about pride that causes so much confusion and disillusionment?
The dictionary defines pride as, “noun: pride; plural noun: prides”
1. a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.
"the team was bursting with pride after recording a sensational victory"
Similar: pleasure, joy, delight, gratification, fulfillment, satisfaction, sense of achievement, comfort, content, contentment, a person or thing that arouses a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction.
"the swimming pool is the pride of the community"
Similar: source of satisfaction, pride and joy, darling, apple of someone's eye, treasured possession, admiration, object of admiration, joy, delight, marvel
2. consciousness of one's own dignity.
"he swallowed his pride and asked for help"
Similar: self-esteem, dignity, honor, self-respect, ego, self-worth, self-image, self-identity, self-regard, pride in oneself, pride in one's abilities, belief in one's worth, faith in oneself, amour propre
3. confidence and self-respect as expressed by members of a group, typically one that has been socially marginalized, on the basis of their shared identity, culture, and experience.
"the bridge was lit up in rainbow colors, symbolic of LGBT pride"
4. LITERARY: the best state or condition of something; the prime.
"in the pride of youth"
5. a group of lions forming a social unit.
Why is it that the dictionary appears to define “pride” as a positive thing (or at the least not a negative thing) and scripture and religious traditions appear to define “pride” as a negative. I think it has much to do with the balance of pride in our lives. Stay with me on this.
According to many scriptures pride is a sin—a negative not a positive--(Prov. 8:13) but how would you define it from Scriptures? Pride causes the wicked to lie about the righteous (Psalm 31:18) and “For the sin of their mouths, the words of their lips, let them be trapped in their pride” (Psalm 59:12). So, a person who is proud will lie about others and even about themselves but in time, they will “be trapped in their pride” and get caught in their own lies. A person will usually lie to make themselves look better and others look worse. There is also the bent toward violence, and because “pride is their necklace; violence covers them as a garment” (Psalm 73:6). Jesus gave us a list of the depravity of man when He mentioned its source: “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person” (Mark 7:21-23). Pride is mentioned in the same breath as is sexual immorality, adultery, deceit, sensuality, and slander. So, pride can be defined as someone who customarily lies, and the list Jesus gave us that come out of the human heart in Mark 7:21-23.
Now if I am honest (which is usually not a characteristic of pride), I struggle with pride. Not to deflect and lessen my responsibility, I think we all do. Maybe we lie to others, maybe we lie to ourselves, or maybe we lie to God. Pride easily sneaks into our lives if we are not on guard to keep it as a positive definition in our lives before it controls and destroys us as a negative in our lives. I love the way that Theodore Roosevelt put it: “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” I don’t know about you, but that is pretty accurate for me. When pride turns from a positive to a negative it is when we put a capital I in “prIde” which causes us to put a capital I in “sIn”. Whatever your spiritual background (we all have one) we can all agree what we have all done things wrong that have hurt others. Whatever word you want to assign to those behaviors is not the point. What is at the center of our actions, thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors is I, me, Brice.
And here is the thing, I am great at justifying them. In fact, I am a professional. I have been doing it my whole life. Sometimes more at times than at others, but I have continued to go back to what I want, what I need, what I deserve. That doesn’t even sound bad to me as I write this and at some physiological and psychological level there is a need for that, but when anything is done in excess in our lives then we are out of balance and have a tendency to lean too far one way or another. In this case, it is easy for me to lean to far into a negative pride which causes a destruction in my life and the lives of others who love and support me. Again, no matter what your spiritual beliefs or background (remember we all have one) this is something that can destroy us at its worst or affect us at “thing” that affects us all, but at the time I am fearful of not leaving room for grace and the opportunity to be forgiven by others, God, and ourselves for the pride we have allowed to control our lives. Over the next 5 weeks I am going to create an acrostic (a little cheesy I know) of the word P.R.I.D.E. and deal with different elements of pride that I have dealt with in my life, and continue to. I hope you will join me on this journey and learn and grow as a leader. I also hope you will be transparent in your leadership journey about how you wrestle with pride. Below are some initial thoughts to consider about pride and humility (which has been defined as the opposite of negative pride).
PRIDE: “My will be done"
HUMILITY: “Thy will be done”PRIDE: “It’s my body, I can do with it what I want”
HUMILITY: “This is my body given up for you”PRIDE: “Seeks to accumulate praise for ourselves”
HUMILITY: “Seeks the glory of God”PRIDE: “Concerned with WHO is right”
HUMILITY: “Concerned with WHAT is right”PRIDE: “Loves only oneself”
HUMILITY: “Loves God and man”PRIDE: “Proclaims falsely the sufficiency of self.”
HUMILITY: “Acknowledges the truth of the greatness and power of God”
Where do you fall on these lists? What other thoughts and feelings did this evoke as you thought through your life? Maybe you are like me and came up with some great excuses for why this is “not me.” Wherever you are at, would you risk being a transparent leader as we journey together over the next few weeks?