Pride
Pride
Much has been written and said about Pride throughout history. Sometimes speakers and authors put a positive spin on it: “Have pride in what you do!” Sometimes there are negative connotations: “Pride is at the center of all your problems—it is the love of yourself.” Over the past few years “PRIDE” has been associated with equal rights for the LGBTQ community—“PRIDE: Love is Love”. The topic of PRIDE has been a central part of sermons, conversations, protests, rallies, joy, sorrow, anger, accomplishment, and the list goes on and on. What is it about pride that causes so much confusion and disillusionment?
The dictionary defines pride as, “noun: pride; plural noun: prides”
1. a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.
"the team was bursting with pride after recording a sensational victory"
Similar: pleasure, joy, delight, gratification, fulfillment, satisfaction, sense of achievement, comfort, content, contentment, a person or thing that arouses a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction.
"the swimming pool is the pride of the community"
Similar: source of satisfaction, pride and joy, darling, apple of someone's eye, treasured possession, admiration, object of admiration, joy, delight, marvel
2. consciousness of one's own dignity.
"he swallowed his pride and asked for help"
Similar: self-esteem, dignity, honor, self-respect, ego, self-worth, self-image, self-identity, self-regard, pride in oneself, pride in one's abilities, belief in one's worth, faith in oneself, amour propre
3. confidence and self-respect as expressed by members of a group, typically one that has been socially marginalized, on the basis of their shared identity, culture, and experience.
"the bridge was lit up in rainbow colors, symbolic of LGBT pride"
4. LITERARY: the best state or condition of something; the prime.
"in the pride of youth"
5. a group of lions forming a social unit.
Why is it that the dictionary appears to define “pride” as a positive thing (or at the least not a negative thing) and scripture and religious traditions appear to define “pride” as a negative. I think it has much to do with the balance of pride in our lives. Stay with me on this.
According to many scriptures pride is a sin—a negative not a positive--(Prov. 8:13) but how would you define it from Scriptures? Pride causes the wicked to lie about the righteous (Psalm 31:18) and “For the sin of their mouths, the words of their lips, let them be trapped in their pride” (Psalm 59:12). So, a person who is proud will lie about others and even about themselves but in time, they will “be trapped in their pride” and get caught in their own lies. A person will usually lie to make themselves look better and others look worse. There is also the bent toward violence, and because “pride is their necklace; violence covers them as a garment” (Psalm 73:6). Jesus gave us a list of the depravity of man when He mentioned its source: “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person” (Mark 7:21-23). Pride is mentioned in the same breath as is sexual immorality, adultery, deceit, sensuality, and slander. So, pride can be defined as someone who customarily lies, and the list Jesus gave us that come out of the human heart in Mark 7:21-23.
Now if I am honest (which is usually not a characteristic of pride), I struggle with pride. Not to deflect and lessen my responsibility, I think we all do. Maybe we lie to others, maybe we lie to ourselves, or maybe we lie to God. Pride easily sneaks into our lives if we are not on guard to keep it as a positive definition in our lives before it controls and destroys us as a negative in our lives. I love the way that Theodore Roosevelt put it: “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” I don’t know about you, but that is pretty accurate for me. When pride turns from a positive to a negative it is when we put a capital I in “prIde” which causes us to put a capital I in “sIn”. Whatever your spiritual background (we all have one) we can all agree what we have all done things wrong that have hurt others. Whatever word you want to assign to those behaviors is not the point. What is at the center of our actions, thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors is I, me, Brice.
And here is the thing, I am great at justifying them. In fact, I am a professional. I have been doing it my whole life. Sometimes more at times than at others, but I have continued to go back to what I want, what I need, what I deserve. That doesn’t even sound bad to me as I write this and at some physiological and psychological level there is a need for that, but when anything is done in excess in our lives then we are out of balance and have a tendency to lean too far one way or another. In this case, it is easy for me to lean to far into a negative pride which causes a destruction in my life and the lives of others who love and support me. Again, no matter what your spiritual beliefs or background (remember we all have one) this is something that can destroy us at its worst or affect us at “thing” that affects us all, but at the time I am fearful of not leaving room for grace and the opportunity to be forgiven by others, God, and ourselves for the pride we have allowed to control our lives. Over the next 5 weeks I am going to create an acrostic (a little cheesy I know) of the word P.R.I.D.E. and deal with different elements of pride that I have dealt with in my life, and continue to. I hope you will join me on this journey and learn and grow as a leader. I also hope you will be transparent in your leadership journey about how you wrestle with pride. Below are some initial thoughts to consider about pride and humility (which has been defined as the opposite of negative pride).
PRIDE: “My will be done"
HUMILITY: “Thy will be done”PRIDE: “It’s my body, I can do with it what I want”
HUMILITY: “This is my body given up for you”PRIDE: “Seeks to accumulate praise for ourselves”
HUMILITY: “Seeks the glory of God”PRIDE: “Concerned with WHO is right”
HUMILITY: “Concerned with WHAT is right”PRIDE: “Loves only oneself”
HUMILITY: “Loves God and man”PRIDE: “Proclaims falsely the sufficiency of self.”
HUMILITY: “Acknowledges the truth of the greatness and power of God”
Where do you fall on these lists? What other thoughts and feelings did this evoke as you thought through your life? Maybe you are like me and came up with some great excuses for why this is “not me.” Wherever you are at, would you risk being a transparent leader as we journey together over the next few weeks?