Know or Known?
Know or Known.
It is amazing what adding one letter to a word can do! Know or Known? It not only changes the direction of what your experience is, but the entire definition is changed as well by one letter.
· Know: be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information.
· Known: recognized, or familiar with
Interestingly they are both derived from the word Knowledge. However, not all knowledge is intellectual. We can have emotional or spiritual knowledge as well. It might not be able to be defined intellectually but you can still know it is true. Love is that way! We can define love, but if you have ever been in love with someone, parts of it are undefinable. However, they are real.
Recently, I went through an exercise that I was asked to go through for an upcoming trip I am going on. To be honest I thought it was going to be weird and a little over spiritual. It is called an inner healing session. Sound weird? It does, especially if you did not grow up in those circles that work in these spheres. An inner healing session goes like this:
1) Fill out form online and answer questions about your deepest hurts and issues you are self-aware of. This was easy since I have gone through 4 therapists and spent enough money on deductibles to buy my dream car.
2) Schedule your appointment with an inner healing professional. There is not a college degree for this by the way (I checked). People who have participated in inner healing circles and who have been doing it for some time are professionals and lead sessions out of experience for people like me!
3) Show up for session. Normally you have one “guide” I think (at least that’s what I hear from others), but after reading my intake form they sent me 2! I need a lot of inner healing I guess, and they probably thought that I needed some outer healing as well after meeting me.
4) Be open/honest/and transparent with total strangers. Since I am 52 years old and have never met these 2 ladies I thought I was probably pretty safe if I was going to only see them every 52 years. (they were in their late 60s, so my odds were even better).
There is not a set agenda with inner healing. It just kind of goes wherever it goes. Kind of like a 2-year-old little boy trying to learn how to go pee standing up. It’s a little messy but you finally get there! We wandered for a while but finally hit on something that I have wrestled with my whole life. I know a lot of people but am not known by very many. My social media pages prove my first claim that I know people all over the world—nearly 4,000 (I am so popular). My life proves the second claim that I am not really known by very many, if anyone in my life. One letter changes everything.
It got deeper when we started talking about my latest struggle in life. I was in full time ministry for 32 years and recently left about 3 years ago and changed career paths pretty radically. (That is another blog post worthy of writing) For the past 2 years I have struggled to go to church and be present in a way that is not intellectual, but spiritual and emotional. Every time I sit down in church, I begin intellectually analyzing everything that is going on. Lighting, friendliness, the message, the music, temperature, quality of the coffee, everything! I am good at this, very good! I have college degrees to do this and 32 years of experience to critically look at everything going on and how to improve it to create a better experience. I KNOW how. In fact, I have been asked to speak on a regional, state, and national levels on this topic. I had so many people reach out to me I started an LLC consulting business. I KNOW how to do this. I also know a lot about spiritual things. God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Church History, Church Growth, Prayer, etc. I have written thousands of messages, devotions, articles, and even helped with a book.
After revealing this to my inner healing tag team they made a deep observation. “Brice, you have spent 32 plus years of your life learning about God and learning how to grow a church or organization. You know a lot, but how much of that time did you devote being KNOWN by God and being KNOWN others around you? You have spent 32 years learning how to be a Pastor and you have been a very effective and successful one. How much time have you spent leaning how to be known by God and being his son.” Yep, I suck! (Insert Punch in Gut). Know or Known?
Romans 8:15-16 NIV says …. the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. I am God’s son who is fully known by Him. I know this, but I also know that I have been a good pastor but a not so good son. I have spent most of my time knowing what to do and intellectually learning about God, and very little time getting to know my Father as one of His children. I think this applies to more than people who are in full time ministry (no matter what the role). Billy Graham used to say something to effect that most Christians are going to miss heaven by 12 inches. The distance from the head (KNOW) to the heart (KNOWN). (I think was Billy Graham, but if not we will give credit to Abraham Lincoln)
My children are known by me. Not only are they made up of who I am (sorry about that kids), but I have been watching them every second of every day I can and helping them grow up to love God and love others (and have a warped sense of humor). My children are known by me! This is how it is with God but we are fully made up of who He is. We are made completely in the image of Christ. Here is my problem and maybe yours. I am known by God and I know God. Do you see the problem? My need should be to be known by God and for God to be known by me. There is 12-inch difference there. The distance from the head to the heart.
I don’t know if you struggle with this like I do, but I know (in my head) that I am not alone in struggling with being known. For the last 32 years I have focused on knowing all about God and being a good pastor. If I live another 32 years my goal is for God to be known by me and to be a good son. The bible gives a great illustration about this (See I know stuff) when it talks about new wine in old wine skins. The new wine is too potent, and it will bust open the old wine skins and all will be lost. God is the new wine and we are the old wine skins. If we don’t change how we contain God in our lives, we run the risk of loosing everything.
I know some of you reading this don’t believe in God. I get it! Many Christians, religion, and many churches don’t make it easy. I’m sorry about that. Everything I have talked about thus far is part of that problem. Can I tell you, even though you may not believe in Jesus this still applies to other practical areas of your life. Are you really known in your friendships or is it just on the surface? Are you known by your coworkers or do you just know how to do your job and show up and punch a clock until you can go home? Are you fully known by your spouse or that person who is closest to you? Your kids are known to you but are you known to them?
Inner healing is needed (as weird as it may sound), by everyone and my hope and prayer is this might start a little bit of that inner healing for you. Know and Known! One letter makes a big difference. So start healing and eventually you will find the target—kind of like a 2 year old little boy learning to pee!