Heavy Lifting
Heavy Lifting
I was shopping early in the morning at Walmart and got to witness a team meeting. The store manager was gathering around the employees to get them hyped up and excited about their jobs (which was a very humorous event in my mind). He had them clapping and cheering and calling out some medieval Walmart chant—the kind you could march into battle with. My first thought was that I had walked in a locker room for a Super Bowl team. My next thought was, this must be what it feels like to work somewhere they give you stock options. One of the managers talked about how great sales were this year compared to a year ago. Then another manager got up and spoke about how they had had no injuries from employees in the last 120 days and we have a goal of no injuries in a year. Then it happened! Something that stayed with me for life that I would quote in jest and in encouragement.
That same manager had a 50 lb. bag of dog food laying on the floor and did a role play where a customer accidentally knocked it off and now the employee has to put it back. He showed the wrong way to do it that would cause injury to them and possibly the product as well, and then he said it—those 8 words that stuck to this day—“LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS NOT WITH YOUR BACK”. And then he pulled a lady from the crowd. He brought her over and had her demonstrate how to lift this bag properly and put it away. SHE DID IT LIKE A BOSS AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED! My first thought was, “That was absolutely stupid! Your peers are clapping and cheering on how you lift dog food?” If they could only see some of the stuff I do at work! I think the only time I have ever been clapped for at work is once when I tripped in front of everyone and they clapped, laughed and cheered. And another job where I annoyed everyone (shocking I know) and when I quit, they started clapping because they were so glad THAT was over with.
Over the next years I would always pull out that quote when I saw someone lifting something in the gym, house, street, school, you name it—“LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS NOT WITH YOUR BACK!”. And every time I said it I would remember those people clapping for the dog food lifting lady. Ironically I have pulled muscles in my back several times for lifting with my back and not my legs. I have seen people hurt themselves doing this in the gym, sports, and strangely in their homes reaching for a jar of pickles or simply twisting in a weird manner that ticked off their back muscles who were probably screaming at them, “LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS NOT WITH YOU BACK STUPID!”
I love to go to the gym and push myself to “Go Big or Go Home” when I exercise. I know that this resonates with some of you, but for others and it’s an excuse to simply GO HOME. This illustration makes me think about all the other lifting I have done in life, and how I did most of it wrong, which only has continued to cause me pain and damage. All of us have done a ton of heavy lifting in our lives: emotional lifting, managing internal and external pain, financial lifting, friendship and family lifting, spiritual lifting, educational lifting, occupational lifting, ethical lifting, moral lifting and if you are like me you have done more incorrect forms of lifting in these areas of your life than you have doing it right. I haven’t always had people come along side me to show me how to do it right so that I don’t do damage to myself or others around me when I am incorrectly lifting these things. AND THEN, get this, I can actually tell you almost exactly how many times in my life people have come around me and cheered me on because I did it right. In fact, in my office I have an “Atta-Boy” file where I could show you every email, letter, card, and scrap of paper that was ever given to me telling me what a great job I was doing and why. I keep that file close because many days I feel like everything I touch I have lifted wrong and caused pain.
When I examine my own heart and attitudes as a leader I have tried to break away from this with the people I guide. I want to be a leader that says yes much more than I say no. I want to be a leader that corrects through kindness and shows the positives in what they did, but the potential in what they can do if they tried it “this” way. I want to be a leader that works with their team and doesn’t make the team feel like they are working for me. But I also know that because of all the incorrect lifting I have done in life that I am hardest on myself and most days would love someone to simply clap and say good job. This is no slight against the people that are leading me in this season of my life, I think we all need this. I have never met anyone who has said “STOP ENCOURAGING ME, IT MAKES ME FEEL FUNNY!” But I have met many people, like myself, due to their past who shut themselves off, become defensive, and withdraw themselves from the process, team, job, product, goal, mission, friendship, and life.
LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS NOT WITH YOUR BACK (Insert Cheering Here)! I believe the older we get the heavier the lifting gets. The more we need others to come along side and encourage. Our negative judgmental nature that we were all born with, if not harnessed and broken like a wild horse, will end up hurting us and others. My thoughts about myself and others are one of the top two things that have done more damage in my leadership than almost anything else. My tongue and the things I have said about myself and others came in at a close number two! I have found that when I hadn’t dealt with all the junk in my life, then it was easier to throw that junk onto others. Sometimes it’s subconscious and we don’t even realize we are doing it. I remember reading a paper by John Locke in which he stated, “All revolutions begin in your mind and then those thoughts evolve into words that eventually will evolve into action.” Read that about 10 more times. If you live in America and are reading this you are the product of the American Revolution, the War of 1812, the Civil War, and others. Thank God we broke away from the English, so that we could have dental care and things like that! Thank God we didn’t fall under the French or else we would not even like ourselves! And thank God the North and South were brought back together because the Red Neck Comedy Tour is one of my favorites. We have to remember that everyone in a Revolution feels that that are doing the right thing, until we look back in history and see it with clearer facts and perspective.
We are much the same way in our own personal revolutions and internal wars. We think we are right! Until we look back 10, 20, or 30 years later and see the carnage and devastation that has taken place. We have all the money we need but our family left us or your kids hate you. You did well in life, but you ran over everyone in your way to get there and now you don’t have any friends. Or you took other shortcuts that you hope no one ever finds out about. I love this one—you never took a risk because you never felt you were smart enough, good enough, and whatever it was and think would just fail anyway. I could go on and fill pages of paper here but I think you get the idea.
In my life, I have killed relationships in my family and with friends. I have done more things I am not proud of, than the Kardashians entire family (maybe other than Bruce or whatever her name is now). I have run from pain and problems and missed a deeper purpose and plan for my life. I have disappointed, confused, saddened, destroyed, and angered others in my life who tried to be in my cheering corner. Why? Because I chose to lift and carry the weight that I was given in that moment the wrong way. Maybe it’s a guy thing—or maybe I am just prideful—but it has always been nice to be seen as strong. Internally I can fake being strong easily, although I am doing damage to myself almost every time I do. However, it is much harder to fake being strong on the outside.
I remember in Junior High (Middle School to my millennial friends) I was trying to impress a girl (shocker I know) and was lifting things for her. First let me say that she was not cute—she was Middle School HOT! So I pulled out all the stops and wanted to prove that chivalry was still alive. I would lift everything and not let her help. This was great until I pulled a muscle in my back and almost cried in front of her. But I powered through like any mutant 13-year-old and did even more damage to my back. Here is the kicker. After we were done with the project she invited me to go with a group of friends to grab pizza and celebrate. I couldn’t, I hurt SO BAD! My chance at true love had abruptly ended and Jeff Butler (yes that is his real name and I hope he reads this someday—and he still owes me $3.24 for a breakfast I bought him) stepped in during that party and asked her to our spring dance. JERK! I went home in physical and emotional pain.
I wonder how many things we miss out on in life because we lifted wrong. LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS NOT WITH YOUR BACK. I wonder how much influence and leadership (that’s what leadership really is by the way—influence) we have missed by not dealing with the pain in our lives until it becomes so great that we have to withdraw from everyone who wants to cheer for us, so that we can heal or at least let the wound scab over and hope nobody notices. I hope you are drawing the parallels from all of this. We all lift a ton of weight in our lives, but we don’t have to lift it alone and we don’t have to lift it wrong. I would love to help you, or as we say in the gym “Spot You” so that you don’t feel crushed. Deal with that pain and remember to LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS NOT WITH YOUR BACK.
Oh yeah one more thing—Cheer for others as they lift. Point out the good not the bad. Help them see their influence. Speak into them - not at them. Love them, even when it’s hard. Encourage them, even when life seems discouraging. I promise (money back guarantee) that when you do, you will also have a better outlook on life! Enjoy your day and remember “Not every day is good, but there is good in every day!” Now go LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS, NOT WITH OUR BACK!